Burdoc Farms

Being in the wedding business is rewarding and exhausting all at the same time. At Burdoc Farms my whole family is involved on some level in the business and all decisions are made by consensus and we all work other full-time jobs as well as run the family business, it can certainly be a challenge to say the least. So not only are we working weekdays full time, we are working after hours and weekends to make sure our wedding couples have the best experience ever at Burdoc Farms. There is so much that goes on behind the scenes that people don’t see or understand, and having the venue on your property where you live. well there is no getting away from what needs to be done or addressed as far as the business is concerned.

Here are some tips on how to help your wedding vendors when planning your wedding.

MAKE AN APPOINTMENT
Rule number 1…. when it come to looking at wedding venues  be sure to set up an appointment. This is true of most wedding businesses, an appointment is required. Don’t just show up at the venue and hope you can get a tour. Be sure to give the owners your full attention and even if you feel like you already found your venue, owners of wedding venues take great pride in what they have created for couples for their big day. So remember, make an appointment.

SHOW UP ON TIME
Rule number 2…. show up on time! The wedding venue could be having multiple appointments, so you want to be sure to get all of your allotted time and attention and not run into another couple’s time. There is nothing worse than having a couple show up very late and then expect the same courtesy as far as our time to show them around. If you are not sure of the location of the venue, double check the directions with the owners. Sometimes they can help you with shortcuts or more direct routes because GPS is not always reliable. The same goes for any wedding vendor appointment that you have set up, show up on time!

CANCELING YOUR APPOINTMENT
Rule number 3 …. we understand that emergencies can happen so if you have to cancel your viewing appointment, PLEASE let the wedding venue know as soon as possible that you will be unable to make the appointment. There is nothing worse than hanging around waiting for a couple to show for a viewing and then they never show up.

DON’T GHOST YOUR WEDDING VENDORS
Rule number 4…. DON’T GHOST YOUR WEDDING VENDORS! Especially if the venue has made several attempts to contact you thru emails, texts, calls and get no answers at all. Being ghosted is the worst and that goes for all your vendors. If you have talked to several photographers, caterers, wedding planners, DJ’s, whatever vendors you have talked to, let them know you decided to do something else or go a different direction. We can handle the news, better to know than to be ghosted!

LET YOUR VENDORS KNOW WHAT YOU DECIDED
Rule number 5…After visiting your venue or talking with wedding vendors and a decision has been made, let all your wedding vendors know that you decided to go somewhere else, or use a different vendor. Also let us know why you made the decision you did. It helps us to know if we can better accommodate future couples or to help us improve on what we already do. Most of us want to improve on our services and what we provide to wedding couples, but if you do not share that information with us we can not possibly improve what we are doing as far as our wedding business.

FINAL
Often the decision was made because of the location of the venue or the venue did not work in the budget. Don’t worry about upsetting us, or making us mad, because knowing about your decision is better than being ghosted. I always so appreciate when a couple lets me know they went somewhere else and why they went somewhere else, it is very much appreciated. Most wedding vendors I know have other jobs and are working weddings on their only time off to bring you the most beautiful wedding you could possibly have. Many of us give up our only days off to work with you on your wedding plans and then add to that that every Saturday we have weddings, so we never get time off. However, most wedding vendors and wedding venue owners I know have such a passion for what they do and it is disappointing when we don’t hear back from couples that we spent time with.

So, remember, be courteous to your wedding vendors and let us know what decisions you made as far as your wedding day, it means so much to us when you share your thoughts and decisions with us!

Your wedding budget, this is something a lot of couples don’t want to discuss, because when you start discussing budget, you come to the realization that your dream wedding you wanted to have, might not be within your reach. So, how do you go about budgeting your wedding? Here are some tips to make it less stressful for you, your fiancé and your families.

WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR WEDDING?

Is it just you two? Are parents of bride and groom chipping in? Are parents sticking to tradition and brides’ parents pay for wedding and grooms parents pay for rehearsal?

You need to be sure that you find this out from day one! Are both sets of parents paying for it all or just helping with some of the expenses? You need to have exact amounts for your wedding budget. That way, you know from day one what you have to spend, and then you can decide what and if you can pay for some of the wedding yourselves.

CREATE A LIST OF YOUR PRIORTIES

Make your list based on what is your I GOTTA HAVE THAT… Is there a specific dress, venue, photographer, caterer, or DJ you HAVE TO HAVE? Put them at the top of your list with their cost and work your way thru your budget that way.

I had a bride that had to have a specific dress for her wedding day. It was a $3,000 dress. Her family told her multiple times, you’re not going to be able to have the wedding you want if you buy a $3,000 wedding dress! Watch me, was her response. She had her wedding on a Wednesday, which most venues have reduced rates on a weekday and some of your other vendors may too… she kept her guest list to a manageable number and she had every other vendor she wanted for her wedding! And she said her wedding was everything that she had dreamed of! Smart girl for creating a priority list of her must haves and making everything she wanted fit in her budget.

HOW TO SAVE MONEY

I get asked this a lot, and there are ways to save money. Get married on an off day which is a Sunday or weekday and most wedding venues have reduced prices on off days. You can really save a lot of money in your budget by doing this. Some of your other vendors may have reduced rates on off days, so be sure to ask them if they do. Don’t be afraid to ask all your vendors, do you give any discounts? They should understand that not everyone has an unlimited budget to spend on their wedding.

Another way to save money is to get your wedding dress off the sale rack. Sometimes you can negotiate an even more reduced price on the dress if the wedding shop is independently owned and not a chain store.

Ask the venue owners if they work with certain photographers that give a discount if you refer them. Some venues and photographers have partnerships that benefit both of them and they are happy to give discounts because of their referrals.

Florals can also be another big expense and there are ways to save there too. If you prefer real flowers, call your local flower farmer and ask them if they sell buckets of lose flowers. Most do, and you can get a lot of real flowers at a reduced rate but you have to be okay with what the flowers are and what the colors are…most of the time you will be getting the growers “choice” when you go this route.

Search Facebook Marketplace. I have found there are lots of brides wanting to sell their décor from their own weddings and you can really save some money by going this route.

WEDDING PACKAGES

Some venues offer all-inclusive packages of some kind that can take care of some or all your needs and you just show up! Be sure when you are talking to venues ask them if they offer any specialty packages and what is included in those packages. You can sometimes save yourself some money by going this route as well.

FINAL WORDS

Don’t let BUDGET be a dirty word when you are planning your wedding. However, don’t be unrealistic about what your budget is either. To get the biggest bang for your buck, prioritize your wedding preferences, find out what discounts are available from vendors and then you can plan your BIG day. I have seen some very beautiful weddings that didn’t cost the couple more than they could afford.

So be realistic, prioritize your list by starting with your Number 1 item you must have, ask about discounts, and enjoy the journey.

 

 

Remember that show, What Not to Wear? I always loved watching it, I saw myself in every person they were making over… I know I have made many of the same fashion faux pas myself as the women on their show. Stacey and Clinton tried to help a woman shine fashionably without losing her identity, because for so many of us women, our fashion is very much tied to our identity.

So how does this relate to wedding fashion. I am not talking about picking a wedding dress, because I have covered that subject in one of my previous blogs. I am talking about picking the bridesmaids dresses. Now there is a challenge. You are going to be faced with so many body shapes, heights, skin tones not to mention the preferences and opinions that all your bridesmaids will have. So, what are some options when picking out a bridesmaid dress. Let’s talk about them…

First, color… there are so many new and exciting colors showing up in wedding dress shops for bridesmaids, it fun to see all the choices. There are also prints, something that has been popular since the 70’s and seem to come and go each decade. Here are some ideas and thoughts to consider when you are looking at colors. How will the colors look in your photos… is it going to be so bright it takes away from the bride and groom? Is it going to be so fussy; no one looks at anything but the print? Colors and prints can make your overall theme of your wedding really shine, so always get color swatches, put it with your dress, show it to your floral designer, think about the kind of venue you will be using, show the colors to your photographer and be open to feedback. I am not saying don’t get crazy colors or prints but think about all these factors when choosing your bridesmaids dresses.

Second consideration is fit… how is the 1 dress style going to look on all these different bodies. I love it when the bride takes into consideration the different body types and chooses several different styles that is flattering to their bridesmaid’s body type and then all the bridesmaid’s dresses are coordinating colors and by the same designer. That is a great way to get cohesion with your bridesmaid’s dresses, use the same designer.

Third consideration is style… what I mean is, do you want the dress form fitting, off one shoulder, halter style, to have long sleeves, short sleeves or no sleeves. There are many options to consider but this goes back to your bridesmaids and their body type. Some feel very comfortable showing it all while others want to cover certain issues they have with their bodies. This is an opportunity to do something fun, and unique.  Give your bridesmaids your color swatch and tell them to get a dress that they feel comfortable in that matches your color scheme, this can create a very unique look to your wedding party.

Fourth consideration is length… I really have no preference with the length of a bridesmaid’s dress. Again, where you are getting married could dictate the length of your dresses, for example the beach vs an over the top wedding venue. I have seen short, mid-length, high-low, and full-length dresses at weddings. I have also seen every bridesmaid in a different dress, same color and different lengths or different dress, different lengths and different colors but the colors all go with your color scheme, and this can certainly add a cool, casual, eclectic, boho vibe to your wedding party look.

Fifth consideration is the season or the location you are getting married…. what time of year are you getting married? What is the weather like during the time of year of where you are getting married? Are you getting married in the summer months or winter months, is the venue outside or inside or a combination of the two? How much are you going to be outside vs inside, and the season of the year should all play a factor in picking the dresses for your bridesmaids.

Lastly, but certainly not least, undergarments… Nothing worse than seeing black undergarments glaring at you from a pale-yellow bridesmaid’s dress. This is one item that I would make sure everyone does purchase the same of and I would highly suggest nude colored undergarments.  You really don’t want to see someone’s strap or someone’s underwear lines. If you can see the undergarments, then the photographs will certainly capture the undergarments!

Ultimately it is your wedding. It is thoughtful to consider what the bridesmaids body types are at the very least and chose a dress accordingly. Don’t get so caught up in everything being so Matchy-Matchy…. subtle differences, like color and style, can make your wedding pictures more interesting and the fact you considered each bridesmaids body type, will make them happy. Everyone should enjoy your wedding day, not just the bride!

I get asked this question a lot from brides who are planning their weddings. Personally, I am a real flower person, not only because they are so much prettier than silk, but they are more practical. I realize that big box stores make it very hard not to resist their 50% off sales when you have a tight budget but let me share why I think natural is better than silk.

Natural flowers are better for the environment, that really should be a no brainer. When you are done with your florals, take them to a local hospital or church for their shut-ins or a retirement home to brighten up their day. Then you don’t have to worry about what happens to them because they are biodegradable.

Take some of the flowers from your arrangement and have them dried and mounted in a display box so you have them as an important keepsake. There are a lot of tutorials on YouTube on how to make a forever shadow box of flowers from your wedding and it is easier than you think. You can also put your invitation in the box and any fun party favors that you had for your guest. Use your imagination.

To save money on natural flowers, pick flowers that are in season. Just go to Pinterest and search for the flowers in the month of your wedding date. Then you can see what is available to use for your wedding as far as look, textures, and colors. Don’t get so hung up on specific colors that you limit the types of flowers that you could use. By being open to all colors and types of flowers, you will be able to have a one of kind and unique floral arrangement just for your wedding, not like every other one you see online.

Just because you might be getting married in a month that is an off season for flowers, like January thru early March or November and December, doesn’t mean you still can’t use some natural growing plants for your wedding. Yes, it can be a challenge to find flowers, however, there is a lot of greenery, evergreens, that are beautiful year round and that you can utilize for décor by adding flowers, berries and even fruit to make your own, one of a kind décor.

Also, don’t have your flower girls throwing silk flower petals. They are a nuisance, hurt the environment and are basically trash! I would just double check with your venue about their policy on silk flower petals. There are many biodegradable products on the market that you can use for the flower girls besides silk ones, do your research.

And lastly, purchasing natural flowers will help your local grower. There are so many local businesses now that have made flowers their thing. Go to your downtown farmers market and see if there are any local growers that you can meet and talk to about flowers for your wedding. Better to support a local business then to support a big box store that gets everything from who knows where!

So many factors go into choosing a venue for your big day. Your wedding venue can set the tone of your whole day. Even though I am a wedding venue owner, I realize our venue is not for everyone, so be sure to choose the venue that is right for you. Here are some things to consider when you are choosing your dream location.

If the venue owners require an appointment, be sure to make it to your appointment. We understand that last minute things come up or that you change your mind about wanting to look at the venue but be courteous and let the venue owners know if you are going to make your appointment. After viewing the venue, let the venue owners know what you decided to do as far as choosing your venue. Its OKAY if you don’t pick us, but don’t ghost us either. We put a lot of time and effort into showing you our venue.

Are you and your fiancé nature lovers or do you like the modern amenities, like a/c and heat? That should be your number one priority when choosing a venue. I have had many brides tell me they love the outdoors but then their wedding day came and with it was rain, or a hot bright sun or lots of bugs and bees.. they decided that they don’t like the outdoors so much! Be sure you will be okay with whatever the weather may be when choosing a venue that has outdoor elements to the venue. If you are put off by certain naturally occurring events, do not pick a venue that is an outdoor wedding venue. You will not be happy.

Is the venue easily accessible for your guest? Well, that can be a matter of opinion. I have done many viewings with many couples and their parents have lots of opinions about this issue. We have had couples come from as far away as Alaska, Washington State and Hawaii but then a couple that is 45 minutes down the road thinks we might be too far for their guest, so this really is a personal preference. Some things that you might want to consider are how far is lodging and how far is a major highway. Those can certainly help when deciding on your location.

And finally, how flexible is the venue. Are there too many rules to keep track. Can we still have the event we want to have and not break their rules. I think flexibility of the venue and venue owners should be your number one consideration. How flexible a venue is, can and will make or break your day. Always ask what are the does and don’ts when looking at your venues.

A bride once shared a personal story with me about her wedding day decisions. Her maid of honor kept hounding her that her wedding dress was too much for our wedding venue. That the dress was more for an elegant and over the top venue and the bride had chosen our barn venue for her wedding day. The bride told her maid of honor that the wedding was her wedding and she would wear a tiara if she wanted to and get married barefoot in our cornfield. Moral to this story, have the wedding you want to have, make it your own and one of a kind!

To wear or not to wear, that Is the question… I remember having this conversation with my daughter before her wedding. Her wearing a wedding veil didn’t make a difference to me, I wore a head cap with the veil coming out of the back. I really didn’t want to wear that, but my mother asked me too. SO, I decided to change it up and wear a combination of a skull cap and veil. My mother eloped so it wasn’t like I even had a veil to wear that belonged to her or any of my family members for that matter. My sisters got married in our back yard and both wore dresses, with no veils. So where did this tradition originate?

Veils have a long history in women’s fashion.

Dating back to roman times a veil was worn by older women to show their stature and significance in society. So, you immediately knew who they were because of the veil and the color of the veil. Roman brides wore the veil to ward off evil spirits that might try to steal their happiness.

Veils became prominent in religious practices, such as in Judaism, Islam and Christianity. Women wore veils to show humility, obedience and modesty in religious settings.

Queen Victoria, while she made white wedding dresses popular she also made wedding veils popular. Every year on her wedding anniversary she would put on her wedding dress and veil and pose with her husband for their anniversary photos. She was very popular, and the industrial revolution and invention of the camera made her even more so. Posing with her husband and children on all family and personal events and publishing the photos for mass consumption helped to cement her popularity and made her relatable to women of all classes. The first “Instagramer”…

So veils can have many meanings for many brides in the 20^th century.

For some brides it is a way to incorporate their mothers or other family members in their wedding by wearing veils that family members have worn before. For other brides it is a fashion statement as important as the dress while others chose to use no veil using nontraditional head adornments like flowers and tiaras. Whatever you chose, make it your own and make it meaningful to you.

 

 

Being in the wedding business is rewarding and exhausting all at the same time. At Burdoc Farms my whole family is involved on some level in the business and all… Read More »